Lysistrata (on Veteran's Day)

If you go to war we will tear down your memorial
And smother your eternal flame
And never speak your name again
And you will be forgotten.

If you go to war we will sleep with your best friend
And give away your dog
And torch your pickup
And you will come home to nothing.

If you go to war we won't mourn your death
And will neglect your grave
And send no condolence cards
And your mother will cry alone.

If you stay home
One day there will be no war.

Every time someone mentions Ann Althouse's name, a bell rings and an angel gets its wings.

Or a nutter gets her fix.

On Friday night, TRex put up a post at the high-traffic blog Firedoglake exhorting his readers: "Please feel free to post your comments on this post under the name 'Ann Althouse'. I've done it before. It's totally fun." Some time thereafter, he took the post down, but I have the text of it because I've set up a Google alert to keep track of the use and abuse of my name, so I received the text in my email.

Savor that for a moment. She has her name on Bat Alert.

Let's move on.

I've known for a long time that unscrupulous webwriters appropriate my name, and I have a longstanding dispute with the blog Sadly, No for refusing to take down comments that appropriate my name. I have emailed them politely and seriously making the request, but they have refused repeatedly.Now, I have TRex's confession that he is one of my impersonators. I don't know that he is an impersonator on Sadly, No, but the post he took down mentioned Sadly, No.

An amusing man who refers to himself as a dinosaur refuses to take her seriously. Really? And he impersonates her, stealing her good name to make snarky comments that people might think actually came from her! And if it weren't for the fact that anyone who ran their cursor over "Homepage" would know who he was, just like with the comments on Sadly, No, he would have been this close to getting away with it too.

The Midwest Cuckoos

Ten years in the future, a strange phenomenon will take place. From small towns all over the Midwest, strange children will come together to remake the nation in their image. They are alien in appearance, with strangely shaped hair and chillingly uniform behavior. And they have murder in their hearts.

They are....the illegitamite grandchildren of Mitt Romney!

Yes, while the sons of Mitt scour the Midwest for anyone willing to listen to Romney's speeches in exchange for a free meal, the farmers' daughters carry a secret. The bored brothers, encumbered with wives, children, Mom, and Dad, find a little space for themselves in the buxom arms of America's virgin womanhood. And lo, nine months later, when the campaigning is nothing but a smear of red ink in life's Ledger, the Midwest Coockoos will be born, ready to impose a new world order through mind control and magic undies.

Beware and remember: Think of a brick wall.

"Bring me the head of Bob Barker!"

Via the estimable TBogg, we see that Ann Althouse can find only one reason that anybody would criticize her--they are minions of the petulant, vain, homicidal minor god known as Glory Hillary Clinton.

You see, feminism failed Ann. She did it all, a career and marriage and motherhood, but it didn't work out. It must be feminism's fault, since it can't be Ann's! And when Ann thinks about feminism, she grows huge and green with rage, rampaging across the countryside and smashing everything in her path, for feminism was killed by Cock Robin Bill Clinton with his little sword.

Is Althouse really a feminist? Since she is content to go along with whatever authority is around, she has no idea what she really believes. She's obsessed with reflections, constantly trying to identify herself, usually through unflattering comparisons to others. She's a vortex all right, constantly moving in ever-tightening circles, chasing something she can't quite define, dizzy with her attempts to keep up.

There are three types of people; leaders, followers, and the emotionally healthy.

The Bush Administration is very gradually doing the same thing in the US that it is doing in Iraq. They replace civil servants with obedient partisans, deny basic government services to disrupt daily life, destroy the economy to replace it with one more favorable to themselves, run farcical elections, replace media with propaganda, pit ethnic, racial and social groups against each other to spread discord, and install unreasoning and overwhelming fear in every heart.

And they're doing it for the same reason.

Control.