Charlotte Allen is much better than you.

Charlotte Allen, last seen tarring all women with the stupidity brush in a ferver to insult Barack Obama, returns to her favorite subject, her religion, and how we all should celebrate it.

Your religion, or lack thereof, doesn't matter. Only Allen's religion is important. In fact, it's so important the entire world, as observed throught the locked and tinted window of her car as she drives past it, must observe it in the manner she deems appropriate.

Different neighborhoods on my route home provided little variance in this trend; whether the genteel and expensive post-Christian enclave in Northwest Washington where I lived, or the mostly African American and presumably fervently biblical ward in which the religious order that hosted my Good Friday liturgy resided, the general atmosphere remained consistent. A line of blue-jeaned college students snaked outside the door of my neighborhood pickup bar, the Cactus Cantina, as it did every other Friday night. Cars cruised and horns honked, and clusters of young people on the prowl for weekend adventure crammed the sidewalks.

The working-class Latino neighborhood through which I drove, whose residents nominally shared my Catholic faith and for whom Viernes Santo is a solemn fast day commemorating Christ’s death, was unseasonably merry: roaring crowds on the sidewalks, glittering lights from the bars, beer bottles smashing periodically against the asphalt.

Worse yet, there were only "spring" recipes in her favorite cooking magazine, and St. Patrick's Day falls during Lent, which means more drunken carousing. The situation is so dire that Allen laments:

Millions of American Christians will nonetheless celebrate Easter this year with church and sunrise services, and family lunches and brunches. But these commemorations are nowadays generally private and muted. Most schools and workplaces drone on in routine without even acknowledging the holiday (except in Hawaii, whose Good Friday legal holiday somehow survived a constitutional challenge by the American Civil Liberties Union).

Gasp! Imagine, in a diverse nation, private religious celebrations are being celebrated privately. Instead of the State enforcing religion, it holds it separate! And equal!

But Allen ends her post with hope, for "We are all Easter people." If she means Easter Island people, destined to die off due to their own excess, yes, she is indeed "Easter people."