K-Lo Goes To Confession

XI Holier and Wiser

K-Lo: Bless me Father for I have sinned. It's been two weeks since my last confession which as you know is totally not my fault. I prayed that God would smite the police's ankle monitor and let me leave the house but He must have been busy because it still works. It was very nice of you to come to the house to hear my confession.

Father: I am happy to help, Kathryn Jean. I'm sure God sees what is in your heart and mind and, er, makes allowances.

K-Lo: Thanks, Father, because everyone else is mad at me. That lady I had in the basement, the police, Mama and Daddy, and my parole officer. Daddy said I couldn't even work from home because of the eBay incident. I came really close to breaking the Fourth Commandment when he took away my internet access. How will I work? Talk to my friends in foreign lands who want to learn more about what I'm wearing when I pray? Push the PrayPal button for Mother Angelica?

Father: Ebay incident, Kathryn Jean?

K-Lo: I was obeying God and the Bible. And being patriotic, I think, although I'm not sure about that anymore. But the Bible! And Jesus! Jesus said blessed are the poor. And I only sold the TV and stereo, plus my mother's silverware.

Father: And now you have no internet.

K-Lo: And that's why I almost told Daddy that he couldn't stop me from working and I would do what I wanted.

Father: But you did obey him, didn't you?

K-Lo: Yes,, Father, Jesus' love kept me from straying. Well, that and the court orders. But was I wrong, Father? I thought Jesus was always right and it's good to be poor and bad to be rich, unless you're Mr. Buckley or Mr. Bush or his father or---.

Father: We must live in this world, Kathryn Jean, but it is just a prelude to our eternal life. That should guide our actions. Even rich men must obey God.

K-Lo: All my friends say we're going to be so much happier now that we're poorer, and God will like us more.

Father: Kathryn Jean, that's not quite realistic. People suffer during hard times also. When I was a missionary in El Salvador I saw the terrible suffering of the poor and would not wish that on anyone.

K-Lo: Oh, Father, I love your little missionary stories. Anyway, I think my parents should feel happier and healthier now that we're poor, but instead they're angrier and more punishing.

Father: And speaking of punishment, say two Hail Marys and ten Our Fathers, and think about respecting your parents' property as well as your parents.

K-Lo: Are you leaving already, Father? You just got here.

Father: I'm sorry, Kathryn Jean, but there are a lot more people at the food bank these days, and I need to stop by.

K-Lo: Tell them that I've very happy for their new poverty.

Father: Yes, I'll give them your regards.

K-Lo: Okay.

Father: So, you'll unlock your bedroom door now?

K-Lo: In a minute, Father. It's been kind of boring lately, and I want to read you some of my devotional poetry. It's not every day I have my diary with me at confession.

Father: Mrs. Lopez!!