Atlas Shrugged: The Mocking

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Shorters

Bi-Polar Megan: The free market is self-correcting, except when it isn't. And how could you mess with success? Or failure.

Utterly Oblivious Megan: Don't you hate it when people just make up facts and you have to waste your time refuting them? Oh well, at least we can mock them.

6 comments:

bulbul said...

I was just about to comment on this over at the headquarters, but since you brought it up...
Progressive: If we abolish welfare, some people will end up in degrading, awful poverty, and children may starve.

Libertarian: That should be provided by private charity.

Progressive: Yes, well, it isn't.

Libertarian: That's because the government does it.

See, even her imaginary progressives are fucking stupid. Now if this debate were to include an actual progressive, such as myself, it would go down like this:

...
Libertarian: That should be provided by private charity.

Progressive bulbul: Oh go fuck yourself you pretentious piece of shit. If you knew anything about history, you'd know that that NEVER worked. Look at England in the 19th century or at least go read Dickens, you stupid asshole. That's your dream scenario, right there - private charities taking care of the poor everywhere and yet, there was so much abject poverty and suffering and starving children. Did the rich and the well of lack the resources to help them? No. Most of them just didn't feel like doing it. Do you really think people changed that much over the last 200 years?
Also, private charities are allowed to operate even now. So what stops all of those rich Wall Street types you love so much from taking a few million from their nice bonuses and set up a charity to help all of those who receive social security and still can't get by? Or what's to stop them from paying for health care for all of those uninsured?
Greed, that's fucking what. It's always greed.

Libertarian: But...

Progressive bulbul: Hey, dipshit, I ain't done yet. Do you know what's the one thing that makes government a better provider of help in need than any private charity? Government help comes with no strings attached and it is provided equally, without regard to race, religion or any other shit. Private charities catering to the poor are often arms of religious organizations and they are free to discriminate. Poor Baptists? Come right in. Poor Catholics? Um, maybe. Poor Jews? Need not bother, NEXT! And that's without addressing the racial shit. And finally, charities often make you beg and trade the last vestiges of dignity you have for food and shelter. Government doesn't. I'll take a heartless bureaucracy over institutionalized compassion any day.

Libertarian: But...

Progressive bulbul: SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!!!

bulbul said...

I can't stop reading her and arguing with her.




Help.

clever pseudonym said...

I can't stop reading, either. It's not her childish politics, horrible writing, laughable pretentions, or her false image of herself as an elite journalist. Lord knows there are a million-plus blowhard bloggers who write like stink out there. What I will never, ever understand is that this garbage is being published in the Atlantic. I'm just baffled by it. I keep thinking "any day now, the editors there will wake up," only to find out Megan IS one of the editors.

Welcome to the death of journalism.

Mr. Wonderful said...

Well said, bulbul.

Did she really write that imaginary exchange? Couldn't her imaginary progressive have said, "If 'the government does it,' then how do you account for the existence of poverty? Why don't the charities of which you're so fond take up the slack? Where are they? If you think there are 'homeless' living in squalor now, what do you think the landscape will look like if all social welfare were left to charities?"

tigris said...

Holy crap, that dialogue. Is she incapable of writing anything that doesn't consist largely of strawmen and goalpost moving?

Susan of Texas said...

I guess not.

I think private charity works very well, which is why nobody ever suffered before the Romans started handing out bread and circuses. For free.