Atlas Shrugged: The Mocking

Monday, February 11, 2013

Pope Resigns To Run For US Vice President

In a surprise announcement Pope Benedict XVI resigned today to fulfill his life-long dream of running for vice president of the United States. Vatican spokesman Cardinal Antonio Bernolotti said Rep. Paul Ryan offered the office of the vice presidency to the soon-to-be-former pope and Pope Benedict XVI accepted.

"Yes, the Pope resigned," Cardinal Bernolotti responded to reporters' questions. "Rep. Ryan told the Pope to fill out a questionnaire and even thought the Pope was a little too liberal to suit him, he offered the pope the job. He ought to clean up on the Catholic vote next time!"

Cardinal Bernolotti refused to answer questions about the former pontiff's shopping trip to Prada and Gucci, paid for by donations from Republicans, or the rumors that Pope Benedict XVI travels with a large entourage of family retainers.



8 comments:

Anonymous said...

The Devil Wears Prada

DocAmazing said...

Asked which Encyclicals he reads, the Pontiff replied "All of 'em, Katie."

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Everybody wants to wear the Pope's red shoes.
~

Susan of Texas said...

He can see the Vatican from his house.

Put on your red shoes and dance the blues.

Anonymous said...

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Pope Bandar bin Turtle said...

Family retainers? I thought you said family restrainers!

(Must have confused him with Bush.)

Nevermind!

Yastreblyansky said...

It's all bluff, he's just another attention whore looking for a gig on Fox.

Downpuppy said...

Chronicles of K-Lo -
http://www.patheos.com/blogs/kathrynlopez/2013/02/jesus-for-pope-jesus-for-our-monday-and-tuesday-and-wednesday/

Does she have a different language in her head?