Atlas Shrugged: The Mocking

Saturday, June 29, 2013

Lady Ga-Ga

Poor Kathryn Jean Lopez is so shocked by the news that she can't force everyone to obey Catholic doctrine that she is even less coherent than usual.
By HHS count, they received over 400,000 comments on this previously proposed rule, but were clearly not moved by the pleas. Eric Rassbach, deputy general counsel at the Becket Fund calls it “more of the same.” If you provide insurance, you have to provide employees the means to an abortion end. It’s about facilitating the obtaining an abortion. The government says employers have to, period, he said on a call just now.
That's the first time I've ever see words flounce in indignation.

Of course it's not just about abortion, as K-Lo so very c a r e f u l l y spells out every time she mentions the HHS ruling, which she calls the "abortion/contraception/sterilization HHS mandate controversy." K-Lo is every bit as eager to outlaw birth control, in-vitro fertilization, tube-tying, and vasectomies. Every woman must be willing at all times to accept or be denied God's miraculous gift of life because every act of sexual intercourse is not just between a man and a woman.

K-Lo believes that each act is actually a Sacred Threesome, in a which a man and women and God all unite to bring new life into the world. While the man and women are making sacred marital love, God is also always present. After all, the Catholics say that each use of contraception interferes with God's plan for the couple and we must all obey the Catholics. (The Catholics told us so.) If he wants to inseminate the woman with a human soul, God needs to be free to do so whenever he wants or does not want, for infertility is God's will as well. Since God is present at every single copulation of every single man and woman at every single minute of every single day, of course birth control is against God's will.

(It's a good thing he's omniscient or all that porn might turn him into a sex maniac. The Catholics told us that too.)
But here we are. Employers with religious objections to abortion, contraception, sterilization have no religious-freedom claim in the eyes of the Obama administration, despite pleas, despite good-faith discussions, despite assurances by the administration.  
And, yes, the president and the vice president insisted this problem was all solved before their reelection. They lied. Because in this world of increased secularization and sexual revolutionary values, some churches’ teachings on human dignity have no place in the public square (the public square including evangelical schools, Catholic hospitals, religious soup kitchens). Or so the goverment mandates.
This is what happens when people never the leave the Catholic bubble: They begin to believe that their bubble encloses the entire world, instead of their own head. After that happens, reality is purely subjective. You just know that K-Lo talks to her crucifix every night and that Jesus talks back.

19 comments:

Anatole David said...

Jesus lives in my closet. He's nice, very unassuming. Tries to hide away from His most ardent fans. Sometimes He makes fun of my clothes. Something in his deep brown eyes tells me He'd support women having the same rights over their bodies as men do. I'll confirm it tonight before I lay me down to sleep and promise not to mention the person featured in this post. He's suffered enough.

dlgood said...

K-Lo is pretty sure that she can only be free if you're in chains.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

K-Lo believes that each act is actually a Sacred Threesome, in a which a man and women and God all unite to bring new life into the world.

It's a Sacred Fivesome, isn't it? Thee and me and the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost.
~

Bill Murray said...

"Since God is present at every single copulation of every single man and woman at every single minute of every single day"

Great, someone else to be disappointed in my performance

Anonymous said...

Do these people know that my religion tells me that the war in Iraq was immoral and yet I have to pay for it anyway?

Emily

VCarlson said...

Yeah, not only does my religion tell me war is immoral (btw, it doesn't say much about what consenting adults do, beyond "don't hurt anyone"), but I am required to pay considerably more for immoral wars than the vanishingly small amount K-Lo and her ilk paid for abortion/contraception/education before they threw their very successful temper tantrum.

atat said...

"That's the first time I've ever see words flounce in indignation."

Ha! I love it. What a great line.

Ken Houghton said...

Someone really needs to post the "reckless abandonment" scene from Legally Blonde on YouoTube, just so you can link to it every time you write about K-Lo.

KWillow said...

Since God is present at every single copulation of every single man and woman at every single minute of every single day

Ewwwww. Does that mean he's present during rapes?

DocAmazing said...

"He sees you when you're sleeping, He knows when you're awake" is supposed to be about Santa Claus, not God, though they both share the virtue of nonexistence.

KWillow said...

I remember asking my parents at dinner time if Santa watched when you were going to the bathroom? Funny, I don't recall the answer.

Susan of Texas said...

The more I think about the actual nuts and bolts of religious dogma, the sillier it gets. According to K-Lo, yes, God is there during rapes.

Thank God I don't believe any of this stuff. It would drive me nuts trying it make it sound logical.

Susan of Texas said...

For instance, "God became man," that is, he transformed his infinite form into a human zygote. He then waited until he was grown, when he told everyone that he was the son of God, not their God in a human form.

He knew all this time that he would be sacrificed by the humans, his was the sacrifice to end all sacrifices. (As you know the custom of the time was to sacrifice animals to the god during religious services.) God was born, lived, and died to personally show humans how to worship God. (Because he loves us so much.)

We know our god is made up because he is just as needy as we are.

Mr. Wonderful said...

It would drive me nuts trying it make it sound logical.

Don't blame yourself. It has driven them nuts for five thousand years.

The Promiscuous Reader said...

"If he wants to inseminate the woman with a human soul, God needs to be free to do so whenever he wants or does not want, for infertility is God's will as well."

It just occurred to me that this idea betrays a certain lack of faith in the saving Power of God. If he wants a woman to get pregnant, a mere condom, a mere vasectomy, a mere hysterectomy is no obstacle to him. This is God we're talking about here, people! He opened Sarah's womb, he impregnated a virgin, he raised Jesus from the dead. To paraphrase Gene Wilder on Mongo: "No, don't bother with a condom. You'll just make him mad."

Susan of Texas said...

The problem, as always with Catholics, is obedience. They think that the more obedient they are, the happier they will be. When that doesn't work out they blame themselves for being selfish and weak. Nobody can live like that so they lash out at secular people, whose relative freedom from guilt and self-hatred seem like the worst sort of arrogance.

There is no way to reconcile our life with Jesus's message. He told everyone to give away everything and leave everyone and live only to worship god. Catholics are told to give themselves entirely to god, to live only for him. They are also told to live in the world, marry, make money to donate, have kids. You can't do both so Catholics often feel they are sinful, Fallen failures.

I don't like it when people are constantly yanked around emotionally, like a dog on a rope.

Cthulhu said...

The Promiscuous Reader said...

Evidently, God Opened Sarah Palin's mouth too. Maybe he could shut it? I won't even start in on the "fruits" of her womb.

mellowjohn said...

"Every sperm is sacred,
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted
God gets quite irate."

Mooser said...

"You just know that K-Lo talks to her crucifix every night..."

And I don't care what anybody sways, that's all she does with it!