McArdle Knows Best

Megan McArdle has written multiple posts saying the Democrats should quit fighting and give up because they'll never win. Like the poisonous witch in Tangled, she attempts to undermine liberals to exploit them for her own gain while telling them that it's for their own good. She is so very concerned about their well-doing, you see, and wants to help them because Mother Knows Best.

Mother McArdle:  

You want to go outside? Why, liberals...!  

Look at you, as fragile as a flower  

Still a little sapling, just a sprout  

You should stay up in your ivory tower

Liberals: I know but-

Mother McArdle:  

That's right, to keep you safe and sound, dear  

You were so sure this day was coming  

Knew that soon you'd lord over all the rest  

Soon, but not yet

Liberals: But--

Mother McArdle:  

Shh! Trust me, pet  

Mother knows best  

Mother knows best  

Listen to your mother 

It's a scary world out there  

Mother knows best  

One way or another  

Something will go wrong, I swear  

Filibuster,  

Escalation, blowback  

From vituperation  

And Trump

Liberals: No!

Mother McArdle: Yes!

Liberals: But--

Mother McArdle:  

Also many  

White Working Class Men, and  

Stop, no more, you'll just upset me  

Mother's right here  

Mother will protect you  

Darling, here's what I suggest  

Snub the commie  

Stay with Mommy  

Mama knows best

Mother knows best  

Take it from your mumsy  

On your own, you won't survive  

Knee-jerk peaceniks,  

Elite mandarins,  

Please, they'll eat you up alive  

Half-baked ideas,  

Positively Marxist  

And a bit, well, hmm fascist 

Plus, I believe  

Gettin' kinda slutty  

I'm just saying 'cause I wuv you  

Mother understands  

Mother's here to help you  

All I have is one request, liberals?

Liberals: Yes?

Mother McArdle: Don't ever ask to win an election again.

Liberals: Yes, Mother McArdle.

Mother McArdle: I love you very much, dear.

Liberals: I love you more.

Mother McArdle:  

I love you most  

Don't forget it  

You'll regret it  

Mother knows best