Kathryn Jean Lopez, Power Broker

The Christian fundamentalists always intended to go after birth control. It frees a woman's sex life from male control; she can make the same choices a man can make about sex partners and career. If you control someone's sex life you control them, which is why the right wants to deny civil rights to gays as well. You can banish gays from sight and keep women legally and emotionally submissive if you have enough power.

We do not make decisions based on facts or logic, we base them on emotions. Power is wielded by people affected, and often controlled, by their needs and wants. And powerful people know how to manipulate emotions to keep their power and deny power to anyone else. One of the easier methods of controlling others is to convince them to control themselves, with the powerful setting the parameters of their lives and continuously making little demonstrations of power and strength to keep them in line. The obedient, the authoritarians, want to be good, to be accepted and praised. They will both control themselves and monitor everyone else in their class. The authoritarian leaders will control the followers and monitor their own class, using different standards than the followers, of course. The truly powerful will control everyone else and are not accountable to anyone.

The idea of Miss Kathryn Jean Lopez, authoritarian follower par excellence, wielding power over anyone, male, female, child or animal, is the single most ludicrous proof of how unequal the balance of power has become in the US. The woman has the brains of a potted plant. Her religious monomania drives her to ludicrous extremes of self-abasement and weepy sentimentality. She can't think, write, or relate to anyone who hasn't been nailed on a cross. Yet she seems to think that she and all the other small-minded, badly educated, empathy-impaired conspirators in a War Against Freedom If Freedom Has Boobs actually have the power to control all American women.

Why are Republicans waging war on contraception?

Further proof that Lopez isn't very smart. Republicans don't admit this if they want to stay in office.

It's not the first time the question has been asked, and it won't be the last. Truth be told, Republicans aren't engaging in battle on that front -- but the phrase gets close to a legitimate fight.

Congress, for its part, held an unprecedented vote in the House in February to end funding of Planned Parenthood. It's not a permanent or final vote; it was attached to a short-term move to keep the government funded. The debate in Congress was given momentum by the Live Action investigatory videos, which raised significant questions about what exactly Planned Parenthood is doing; but the rest of us need to discuss why we've let Planned Parenthood step in as a mainstream Band-Aid, throwing contraception and even abortion at problems that have much more fundamental solutions.

We need to discuss why Lopez is getting away with passing off the Live Action videos as proof of wrong-doing. Nobody wants to get near enough to Lopez to ask her questions and pin her down but if they don't, she'll continue to peddle this line and repetition creates belief.

While women may want love and marriage, they don't expect it. Justice Sandra O'Connor wrote in the Planned Parenthood v. Casey opinion that women had "organized intimate relationships, and made choices that define their views of themselves and their places in society, in reliance on the availability of abortion in the event that contraception should fail." And why wouldn't they? Who, nowadays, encourages them to want more?

Roger Ailes (the one not about to be indicted), already covered this bizarre tidbit. Hollywood makes an endless stream of popular movies about women falling in love and getting married, yet nobody wants marriage?

We've come to expect less for and from ourselves, and for and from one another. In part, it's the fruit of the contraceptive pill. New York magazine recently observed in a cover feature: "The pill is so ingrained in our culture today that girls go on it in college, even high school, and stay on it for five, 10, 15, even 20 years." That, of course, has had all kinds of fallout: a false sense of freedom, security. And it has ravaged women's fertility, as it seeks to mute exactly what women's reproductive power is all about.

And now we come to what this is really all about: power. Women think they're free if they control their reproductive system but they are not free and should not be allowed to think they are. Why are they not free? God created their "reproductive power" so only he can control it, and since God doesn't show up personally when some slut needs shaming, men will just have to do it for them, with a few women as humble helpmeets.

That's why I want to turn back the clock -- to a time when we valued love and marriage and didn't expect, support and even encourage promiscuity. Life and history don't work that way, obviously, there is no actual rewind. But we do have opportunities to learn from our mistakes.

Sex outside the parameters set by Miss Kathryn Jean Lopez is promiscuity.

The spending fight over Planned Parenthood in Congress is about a number of things. It's primarily about good stewardship, as so much of the spending debate is. But beyond legislation, beyond anything Congress can or should do, it is a call to arms for a new sexual revolution. It's about wanting more for ourselves and for those whom we love. It's about ending the surrender to a contraceptive mentality that treats human sexuality as just another commercial transaction.

Either you obey Miss Lopez's religious dogma or you are nothing but a prostitute.

Perhaps nothing better illustrates that than a recent commercial for a contraceptive called Beyaz. Women walk into a store and literally shop for men. "It's good to have choices." A woman happily shakes her head at the stork and its offerings in a sassy "we girls can do anything" kind of way, promenading through an adult Barbie commercial complete with Ken, a dream house and a trip to Paris.

Women should never have choices. They should willingly submit to those with power.

That commercial does not, needless to say, do justice to the pain and desperation many women suffer when they find themselves thinking about an abortion, or popping pills in pursuit of something that masks itself as satisfaction but is really just a bad substitute, oftentimes making true happiness all the more illusory.

True happiness is submission to God and men. Any personal satisfaction is wrong and will destroy your chance to have a family.

As evidence of the reckless and dangerous callousness at institutions supposedly dedicated to women's health -- failure to report the sex trafficking of minors, failure to report child abuse -- continues to emerge, we can't afford to lose sight of another, more fundamental conversation that we've got to have, among friends, in our homes and churches -- a talk about what it means to be human.

Humans were created to worship and obey God, as interpreted by Miss Lopez. And anyone woman who thinks that she is free and can make choices about her life must be disabused of that notion, through the use of political power if necessary.

This is what happens when you are polite to religious fanatics, when you let them manipulate your emotions. They go fucking nuts. They should never, ever be let near the slightest amount of power, and the very idea of submitting to and obeying these idiots is absolutely ludicrous. If they really want this war then we can start trying to pass laws that hand out The Pill like candy. Free condoms! Unisex bathrooms! Public nudity! If they want a fight let's give them one. Idle hands are the devil's playground and these fools have way too much time on their hands.

Rod Dreher's Gay Obsession

Rod Dreher says he is so not obsessed with gays and anyway God says that gaydom is bad so he's right to be obsessed with gays.

I have an idea. Let's see what else the Bible says about sex. Okay, if you capture a woman during war you can have sex with her. So our soldiers who raped Iraqi women were a-okay. If you have sex with a married women, you both die. If you have gay sex, you die. If a man rapes a virgin he must marry her. If a childless woman's husband dies, she must have sex with his brother. If you can't have kids, you can have sex with your slaves or servants to have a child. If a mob wants to rape your house guest, you can offer them your virgin daughters instead. And of course you can have as many wives and slave "wives" as you wish.

All that's right there in the Bible, and yet somehow I haven't been to a Newt Gingrich stoning lately. Maybe we discard what we don't like and keep what we like, and maybe that's the sane and equitable thing to do. Or maybe we can just cherry-pick whatever pleases our egos and demons, and try to force everyone else to go along with our obsessions and fears.

The Secret Lives Of Conservative Women

Maggie Gallagher is worried that women are not getting married when they have babies. Kathryn Jean Lopez is worried that the drive for equality is making women victims of physical violence. Mona Charen is worried that college students are having sex. Being so very much worry about what is going on between other women's legs is not prurience, however, it is desire to help women in these troubling times of sexual liberation. Thanks to concepts such as freedom and equality, which all people long for as long as they are not women people, women will lose what they once had, the protection of a man and marriage. Lopez explains:

It’s natural for us to expect men to protect women, and for women to expect some
level of physical protection....The women interviewed in the article appear to
want someone to take charge a bit — there is an attraction to, if not a need
for, some hierarchy. And in a culture in which masculinity — well, at least in
men — is so often suspect, some women seem to be looking to reinvent the
masculine themselves.

Women want society to be divided between male and female roles because it's our nature to want to be subordinate to men, in exchange for their protection. We want to submit. It's a convenient lie, imposed on women by their parents first and society later, to force them to submit to parental authority.

Maggie Gallagher has been writing a long series of posts on why divorce should not be legal. She appears to believe that women, since they insist on having sex outside of marriage, will inevitably end up pregnant and without anyone to take care of them. Married women are vulnerable too, since men can leave them. They need and must have protection, as child-bearing vessels.

Moreover, I came to understand in an immediate, personal way that the happy talk of the cultural elites around the visible decline in marriage was not (as
they liked to tell themselves) rooted in science; it amounted to a new sexual
taboo — a polite way of avoiding big, obvious truths by covering them up with
pretty-sounding words. A society in which marriage was weakened was not simply a
society where women had more freedom. It was a society in which women were more vulnerable and millions of babies are less protected.

Mona Charen is worried that college campuses do not discourage sexual activity. Young adults having sex is a recipe for disaster, since sexual activity outside of marriage is promiscuity, and hurts one's self-worth.

Our liberal universities are officious about warning kids of the dangers of STDs, pregnancy, and date rape. But sadly, those are the only dangers they perceive in sexual license. If they cannot imagine that “sex workers” are degraded by their work, how can they begin to understand that promiscuity compromises self-worth? Many college campuses today seem bent on satisfying nearly every imaginable sexual appetite in a “non-judgmental” environment. In fact, the only people who today feel judged are those — and there are many — who reject the casual “hook-up” culture in favor of modesty, old-fashioned dating, and even (gasp) chastity. George and Londregan suggest that colleges have a duty to fund student centers for those students just as they fund centers for gay and lesbian students. It’s a good idea. But it’s sad that sexual restraint has become an alternative lifestyle.

The Faustian bargain here is pretty clear. A woman must marry for male protection during child-rearing. If she has sex she'll have a baby, and if she has a baby she'll need a man to take care of her. In return she'll receive special status as something too weak to protect itself, softer and weaker and more moral than men, treated with special consideration. She gets to feel special--just as long as she is fertile.

Our ladies never get into the rest of the story. Women age. The ideal of young, fertile womanhood needing support and protection is less appealing in an older woman. The lure of beauty is gone, the emotional tug of small children has become the insolent voice of the rebellious adolescent. Hence the need to eliminate divorce. The gender roles are not kind to older women, who must trade on their status of mothers for the rest of their lives, an eternal nightmare of reminders of dependence and need to compensate for the loss of physical attractiveness. After all, reproduction is all conservative women have. They admit they are inferior in mind and mettle; what is is left? A few superior Galtian women might transcend their limitations, but most conservative women aren't wealthy, and they feel and think that they have nothing to offer.

When your desire to be special and wanted, the same desire we all have, male and female, is subverted to control you, the advantages can be fleeting and the disadvantages galling. The discarded wife is too large a part of social myth to be ignored, no matter how hard the conservative women try. They gave up a tremendous amount of personal freedom to submit to gender roles, and their fear that it might be for nothing can be overwhelming. So we are bombarded with messages that liberal sexual freedom is bad, when the simple truth is that conservative authoritarian sexual roles and rules are subverting women's feelings of self-worth and driving them mad with insecurity and fear of abandonment. Which is where we came in.

You There! Get Out Of That Vagina!

Kathryn Jean Lopez explains the sexual liberation for us.

Women weren’t liberated when they were told they could act like men sexually, because anyone who lives in the real world knows that biologically and practically, such a thing is impossible. And if you doubt that, watch Jennifer Aniston’s character in He’s Just Not That into You. It was the sexual revolution that made her misery possible — living into her 40s with a guy who didn’t have to think about real commitment thanks to the Pill. If you think that’s just a movie, talk to the girls coming out of the theater after any showing. They’ll tell you it just about perfectly depicts the social scene they live with in 2009 America.

Yes, the intellectual underpinnings of Lopez's argument is a Jennifer Aniston movie. God knows what she'd come up with if she had just seen a Jack Black movie. But the point is that women can't live like men because they have a womb. It's just impossible because, uh, they have a womb. Having a womb means that you are miserable unless you live like a woman, that is, married with children. (Speaking of which, what would Lopez think about the Bundys? He works and doesn't cheat on his wife, she stays home and pretends to care for the children--they are the perfect family! But let's not get distracted.) Women can't act like men sexually because biologically they can't have sex without wanting to marry and reproduce. Practically speaking, of course, they can't have sex outside marriage because when women have sex they want to marry and have babies and you can't marry and have babies and work and have sex. Or something, it makes no sense even when I try to think like Lopez, which is quite painful.

And of course it's all the fault of the sexual revolution, which encouraged women to have sex like men, that is, when they choose to have sex. Women aren't supposed to choose to have sex. Sex is for one reason only, according to the Catholic Church; to have babies. If you have sex for any other reason you are committing a sin. The church would prefer to outlaw sex altogether, but that's not really practical, so they inserted a loophole to keep the congregations from fleeing.

Lopez links to Travis Kavulla, who explains the church's perspective.

But the Vatican’s message on preventing HIV in the first place is often muddled. So here, for the record, is a summation of the Catholic argument. It begins with the premise that while the AIDS epidemic is the result of a virus, it is as much a social as a viral illness. It is not something one catches merely by inhalation or shaking hands or other passive contact. The transmission of HIV in the vast majority of cases can be traced to an elective and deliberate act of sexual intercourse.

Thus, the Catholic logic goes, the disease should be treated essentially as a social ailment. The goal should be to promote widespread delays in becoming sexually active among young people and, when they grow up, encourage them to form committed relationships. Merely mediating a risky behavior with mechanical prophylaxis is wrong because it gives tacit permission to the sex act, and undercuts the moral authority of these larger social goals.

"The sex act." Oooooh, nasty, nasty sex. This sin is is choosing to have sex instead of controlling one's desire to have sex, since that is what God wants--to control sex. Sex is bad, you see, unless it is employed for the creation of more children.

Condom use in these seemingly “trusting” relationships is very low and, in any case, would rob them of one of their primary purposes: to produce children, the risk of HIV infection notwithstanding.

Using condoms in a marriage would prevent the couple from having children, the only reason for having sex in the first place. Therefore there is no instance in which the use of condoms would be okay. Only God can give or take a life, and humans must not interfere with His choices. Unless a man becomes ill; then he can go to the doctor and save his life, despite the illness God gave him. That's okay. Or a couple can choose to not have sex to prevent childbirth; the rhythm method is okay too. But the couple can't do anything to say no to God's desire for them to procreate ("Go forth and multiply") except say no to God when they don't want to procreate. As long as they say no to God in the One Particular Way it's okay to say no to God. Although it's not okay to say no to God regarding His Little Bundles of Blessings at all.

Got that? Me neither.

Back to the spiritual dangers of birth control, via The Virgin Lopez:

As it happens, it was the Vatican — this time, the pope himself — that warned in the 1968 encyclical Humanae Vitae that artificial methods of birth control would do our culture a disservice. Humans being human, Pope Paul VI said that the availability of the Pill could “open wide the way for marital infidelity and a general lowering of moral standards” and that “a man who grows accustomed to the use of contraceptive methods may forget the reverence due to a woman, and, disregarding her physical and emotional equilibrium, reduce her to being a mere instrument for the satisfaction of his own desires, no longer considering her as his partner whom he should surround with care and affection.”

Because that never, ever happened before birth control.

Yes, Lopez, if it weren't for all those sluts having sex, men and women would have to marry and have babies if they wanted to have sex. Everyone would have to be just like Kathryn Jean Lopez. Which would suit her and the pope just fine, even if the rest of us look, shake our heads, and go on with our lives.

K-Lo Goes To Confession

IX Marital Bliss

K-Lo: Bless me Father for I have sinned. It's been uh, two days since my last confession, I think. I'm not sure. Maybe it's only been twenty hours. Time passes so fast; one minute it's 2008 and you're 32, and the next minute it's 2009 and you're going to be 33 and you still don't have a baby and---

Father: Kathryn Jean--

K-Lo:--all your friends already have babies and how are you going to fulfill the command to go forth and multiply when you don't have a husband? Huh? Huh?

Father: Kathryn Jean, slow down.

K-Lo: Father, if I were going any slower I'd be going backwards. Who's going to want a middle-aged girl when they can have a young one who could have lots of babies? The only reason men will marry a girl is to obey God and procreate for his Greater Glory. What if it's already too late?

Father: Kathryn Jean----. Dear young lady, perhaps God has other plans for you. Have you reconsidered becoming a nun lately?

K-Lo: Sister Paul said I had to stop pretending to be a nun because it was creeping her out.

Father: A nun for real, Kathryn Jean. Your pure love for Jesus could lead you to a new direction better suited to your nature. You could become a bride of Christ instead of a bride of "Mittens."

K-Lo: Thank you Father, but I already have my life's work. I know God wants me to remind everyone in the cold, hard, cruel world to keep their eyes on Jesus and their legs crossed. Oh em gee! That's it!

Father: Yes, Kathryn Jean?

K-Lo: Everyone's been listening to me and the rest of the Godly preach abstinence, and it's been working too well! They think they shouldn't marry and reproduce when they really should be marrying and then submitting to marital bliss every time the man's man parts twitch! Where's that cheerleader uniform catalogue that I took from Derb's desk? I'll get my man yet!

Father: You know, it might just work.

K-Lo Goes To Confession

VI Missed Opportunities

K-Lo: (dully) BlessmeFatherforIhavesinnedit'sbeenthreedaysincemylastconfession. (Sighs heavily.)

Father: Kathryn Jean, is that you? You sound so---different. Is something wrong?

K-Lo: No.

Father: Kathryn Jean, you wouldn't lie to a priest, would you?

K-Lo: (Sighs.) No, Father. I just can't talk about it.

Father: Kathryn Jean, a burden unshared is a burden doubled. Please, talk to me.

K-Lo: I can't, Father.

Father: Kathryn Jean, Christ sent you to confession to ease your burden. You must talk.

K-Lo: It's just--it's (whispers) about s-e-x.

(Pause.)

K-Lo: Father?

Father: (Deep breath.) Go ahead, Kathryn Jean.

K-Lo: Father, I've been a good girl all my life. I obeyed my parents and the pope and never did anything that I shouldn't have. My page in God's Heavenly Accounts is absolutely blank of bad deeds.

Father: But----?

K-Lo: Bristol Palin, the Governor of Alaska's daughter. (Sob.) She-she-(sob)-she (whispers) did it with some boy. And now she's going to have a baby and---and---.

Father: And your generous heart aches for this poor fallen child?

K-Lo: No! Nobody cares! They're all saying at least she's not going to kill her baby and he's a hocky-playing stud and she gets to keep the baby and have a wedding and I don't because mean old Mitt doesn't want me. It's (sob) no (sob) fair (hic!).

Father: Kathryn Jean, are you jealous of this girl?

K-Lo: No father, I just want her to be thrown out into the street and forced to beg for her living like the slut she is. How will people learn to behave if they don't suffer? God has to punish them.

Father: She is carrying a child, Kathryn Jean. Some might say she is already suffering for her actions.

K-Lo: Not enough, Father. She gets a wedding and I bet her parents will give her anything she and her baby need without any suffering for it at all. She gets to buy those cute little outfits and a long white Christening gown and wedding gown and.... (More sobbing.) What do I get for being a good girl? Nothing! Do you know what is happening to my girl parts?

Father: Young lady, I still believe God has a plan for you.

K-Lo: No, I mean it, Father. I have no idea what's happening (whispers) down there. My mother said a lady doesn't even know what "it" looks likes. Or "they," I'm not sure which.

Father: Kath--

K-Lo: Excuse me, Father, but I just had an epiphany. If I get "knocked up" then a nice boy will marry me, too. It happens all the time, according to Byron York. Father, I gotta run. I'm a girl in a hurry.

Father: No! Wait! Stop! Come back! Don't!

K-Lo: Wish me luuuuuuuuck!

Kathryn Jean Lopez Is Still A Virgin

Bless her heart, K-Lo's still as clueless about life as ever. She takes time out of her busy day to note people are concerned about the number of abortions committed.

High Abortion Rates in NYC [Kathryn Jean Lopez]
God bless them, even Crain's is worried!

Crain's seems to show that the doctors and health officials are worried that women don't have good enough access to contraception, and therefore depend on abortion instead. K-Lo is very much against contraception, so it's not surprising that she fails to mention that part. Willful blindness seems to be the only way K-Lo can make her way through life. Rush is a hero, just ignore that pesky Viagra-fuelled trip to the Dominican Republic. Bush is a hero, forget the failures. Iraq is necessary, ignore the dead completely. Our soldiers are heroes, ignore torture and degradation. The pope must be obeyed, ignore the fact that most people in the world don't care what he says. And on and on, about everything in life.

Imagine a world devoid of popular culture, of sex, of freedom for women, of complexity, of shades instead of black and white. That's the world K-Lo lives in. You could say it's a convent in the mind, but it's more like horse blinkers, voluntarily worn so K-Lo won't be distracted from keeping her eye on the prize; Death's permanent embrace, where Jesus will lift her to his side for all time, whispering sweet words of love and acceptance.

Such Beautiful Creatures

Oh, Kathryn Jean Lopez, you never disappoint. All those years of CCE classes I took were not in vain, for it helped me understand how one person could be so self-deluded. Once you've seen gay men marry and have children just to be accepted by the Catholic Church, Lopez is a piece of cake to understand. For Lopez, God is the Magical Marriage Fairy. Do everything he says, and she'll achieve the impossible: Find someone willing to overlook her stupidity and single-minded devotion to her cause. (But I repeat myself.) It's not her looks; not-beautiful women marry all the time, including not-skinny women. People who have been married a long time know that the surface fades away, and the inner person is the one you actually see. It's the attitude of blind submission, the lack of humor and proportion, the all-encompassing neediness, that drives people away.

Lopez wrote an article on the horrors of in-vitro fertilization, that Frankenstein procedure that lets couples finally have the children they long for. That's supposed to be a good thing, but it's not good enough for Katy Jean, because the only reason for sex is to let God impregnate you--or not, as the case may be.

This position is much maligned, but if you actually think about it, you
don’t have to be Catholic to notice that there is some wisdom in totality, the
idea that there is something very good about giving yourself totally to your
spouse — not putting up barriers and introducing artificial methods and
procedures into your reproductive lives.

Uh huh. I want nothing more than to totally give myself to my spouse, because there's no dividing line between me and him. I have no boundaries; I belong totally to him and not myself. My body is his and God's, not my own. I have no choice when it comes to when I have children, or how many, even if it should cost me my life.

Mind you, this is only for women's reproductive lives. Men can do as they please. Medical procedures are fine if they benefit men and women's non-baby parts. Artificial hearts, shunts, colostomy bags, all other medical procedures are just fine. When Pope John Paul II was shot, God's will wasn't followed; the doctors did everything they could to thwart His Plan--for surely if God let the Pope get shot it was meant to be, right? Just think of the martyrdom! How many lives could have been saved in the future by the Pope's death? Did the doctors think of that? I doubt it.

Kathryn Jean Lopez is in her thirties, and not getting any younger. Her eggs are getting little wrinkles and bad hips as we speak. Hurry up, Katy Jean. As you've said so often, selfish career women often find out they've waited too long, and one day you and your husband might be one of those couples depending on science to make up for God's lack. But I'm sure you'll just accept God's will and go through the rest of your life childless, like you tell everyone else to do.

American dead babies--bad. Iraqi dead babies--good.

Kathryn Jean Lopez is flogging dead babies again, this time using Father's Day as her excuse. She even quotes Shakespeare.

Blood and destruction shall be so in use
And dreadful objects so familiar
That mothers shall but smile when they behold
Their infants quarter’d with the hands of war

How dare she. Lopez routinely cheers on war and death, including the death of Iraq babies. Kathryn Jean Lopez is so intellectually bankrupt and slavishly beholden to authority that she can't recognize irony when it slaps her across the face and calls her stupid. So I'll do it instead. Kathryn Jean Lopez is far too stupid to be paid to advise and comment on society. She's an idiot, and anyone who has hired her for her tireless devotion to Bush and the pope is deliberately condescending to the conservative masses, thinking they're too stupid and obedient themselves to notice.

Lopez whimpers and moans about the poor, poor daddies-who-might-have-been, and castigates society for being "hostile to fatherhood." She quotes Kathleen Parker, who has added to the list of conservative tomes littering the landscape that declare our society is decadent and corrupt, while saying that any liberal who criticizes our country is a traitor.

Men legally have no voice when it comes to abortion, even though the child
is theirs to either love or disown. They can neither force a woman to carry a
baby to term — Hallelujah! — nor force her to have an abortion. Ibid., chorus.
Yet by law, men can be forced to become fathers against their will and held
financially responsible until the child reaches adulthood. Is that fair, or is
fairness mandated only when women are the beneficiaries?

Men legally have no voice when it comes to what a woman does with her body. Just as women legally have no voice when it comes to what a man does with his body. If a man doesn't want his partner to have an abortion, he can practice abstinence, like Lopez is always saying people should. If he decides to have intercourse without protection, he can't complain that he doesn't like his partner deciding what to do next. He already made his decision to have sex without protection; the next decision is hers. If he doesn't like it, he can make damn sure he never gets a woman pregnant.

Remember abstinence, Kathryn Jean? That biologically improbable plan you're always pushing? It's not just for women.

Kathryn Jean Lopez, Vagina Inspector

Kathryn Jean Lopez is on the alert. Somewhere, her nose tells her, a woman is taking off her shirt in front of a camera. Hark!

Achy Breaky Heart: The pornification of Hannah
Montana.

Dear me, that really is a shame. The kid's only 15. And it's not like she's from a bad family; her dad's a country-and-western singing star, and we know what good American Judeo-Christian values they all have.

Oh, no! Some people are upset Kathryn Jean called Disney's teenage star a porn princess.

I posted a quick item on the
Vanity Fair incident on Sunday and have gotten many e-mails
from people who are upset that I may have been too hard on Cyrus. I didn't write
much, so I don't think I was.

"Porn" says so much, doesn't it Katy Jean? Maybe that's why you keep slinging the word around so often.

But Kathryn Jean is looking for teenage girl porn for your own good, don't forget.

But while I don't buy that the Cyruses were complete innocents here — at which point
when the teenager takes off her shirt does dad think this is not bad news — I
might be more bothered that there is an audience for this. What does it say
about us?

I think it says that Cyrus is ambitious, people like pictures of scantily clad pretty girls, and you need to stop thinking about sex. Really, girl. Give it a rest. Think about Mitt Romney for a while instead.

Whoops!