Atlas Shrugged: The Mocking

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Some Like it "Hot"!

As a person who cooks very often, I felt it behooved me to remind all the little people who might want to emulate my example that they will need a stove for cooking. You need a stove with "on" and "off" buttons, and also a range of temperatures. My dear friend John Featherington-Stokes uses an Aga, but I wouldn't expect you to be able to afford an English stove. You will have to buy an American one.

Stoves should also have doors and lights. Be sure to get a light that goes on when you open up the stove door. Do the lights stay on when the door closes? I must ask my good friend Arabella, who writes for a gourmet magazine. The knobs should turn so the stove can be hot and not so hot, depending on your recipe. The inside of the stove, called an "oven," will have racks to hold the food you want to cook. The stove probably will also have a clock on it, but I haven't learned how to set mine yet, so you don't need one of those.

Soon I will explain how you need something called a "pot" for the top of the stove.

6 comments:

clever pseudonym said...

Hilarious. I wrote something very similar and sarcastic in the comments at FMM just before I read this.

I think this is part of my problem with Megan - she thinks stuff like owning a kitchen scale puts her a cut above and that relatively common and mundane things about her life actually make her extraordinary. Couldn't she write something like "if you don't already own a scale, you should get one"? Why does she have to assume that this kind of advice is guidance for the masses? Does she really think her readers are that lacking in general knowledge and ability? Or is she so insulated from the outside world, so socially inept, she thinks owning a scale makes her some special member of an elite club that's letting the rest of us in on their secret?

Susan of Texas said...

I was getting bored with Megan but then she wrote a post telling her critics to grow the hell up.

She doesn't like moral lectures? She wants more thorough refutation?
No problem. I enjoy a challenge.

clever pseudonym said...

That post was just...wow. Where does she get off thinking it's her place to dictate to everyone how they should or should not blog? Who appointed her Queen of the Internet? Maybe she needs to re-read the Constitution and all that stuff about a free press. People can write however they want, even if they're awful at it. Their traffic will reflect that. They can argue terribly, be hostile, and do nothing but call other bloggers poopyheads. They'll probably get it back in kind. The internet is big enough for all of us and blogs I don't like are easy enough to ignore. I certainly wouldn't dream of lecturing someone about how they're doing it wrong or aren't up to my stellar standards.

Susan of Texas said...

I think the pressure's getting to her. Matt is jumping ship, Kathy is showing what someone with knowledge can do to her posts, and we are doing our thing. She's reduced to making comfort food with enough cream to choke a horse.

clever pseudonym said...

No, no. Kathy just misread her post. Again.

Susan of Texas said...

Must have lost her glasses.