Ross Douthat thinks he should get a vote on my reproductive system. Does this mean I have a vote on his reproductive system? I mean his wife's, of course, heh heh! Women can't control men's reproductive system! Because they can't! So Mrs. Douthat's womb is up for a vote.
What say you? Let's vote on it! I say that Douthat shouldn't ever have sex again because his wife might get pregnant and I think he shouldn't have any more kids. Pass on those genes? Have you seen the man? His facial hair? Never. I won't allow it, and since Douthat says reproduction should be something that we all vote on, I vote "no."
Of course there's only one way to know if Mrs. Douthat is gettin' some from Mr. Douthat. I expect him to answer a simple questionnaire so we can make a vote based on an informed decision. I need to know when he has sex, in what position, and what methods of birth control are used. I need to know all future plans of his and his wife's. I also expect to be notified by Twitter whenever Douthat finds himself tempted to procreate, so I can look in his bedroom window and ensure only praying is going on. Perhaps we can attach some sort of monitor to his genitals, to notify us when he is tempted to sin. By remote control, of course.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
7 comments:
Has he written about anything other than abortion yet?
Torture, I think. And Dan Brown. Douthat would be a very, very happy member of the Taliban, I think. He could personally walk the streets and throw beat women who aren't veiled.
That was badly edited!
He's run the spectrum from gibberish (If Cheney had Run) to creepy (last week) to megacreepy (this week passed the Unabomber on the way to Manson).
He's never that easy to understand, but he seems to be trying to negotiate as the thoughtful face of the homicidal loon fringe.
The Taliban have discipline. They'd make him grow a better beard.
I vote that you get to read all the info about his sex life, because I didn't like my lunch to want to taste it a second time, on the way back up. Blech!
I used to read a lot of horror stories when I was younger, so I think I can take it.
I figure if I could read about Chubby Reese Witherspoon masticating his nick without getting nauseous, I can read just about anything about him.
Post a Comment