Going To the Chapel and We're . . . GONNA Get Ma-a-aaried
So as some of you may have heard, I'm marrying Peter Suderman. Specifically, I'm marrying him on Saturday.
Here is the happy couple preserved for eternity at the time of their engagement:
Young love is so adorable. (No doubt McArdle realizes that she has not, in fact, been granted the title of Honorary Princess For A Day, and merely wore a tiara for entertainment purposes only.)
We are finally on the brink of that happy moment that every girl dreams of: a qualified change in family status under section 125 of the tax code.
Heh. That's actually pretty funny. McArdle usually reserves her humor for laughing at her friends and enemies equally instead of laughing at herself but weddings make everyone a little excited.
It turns out weddings are complicated, and require a great deal of last-minute detail management.
"Last minute" seems to have been a theme....
Especially when you have to push your column through fact check before you are allowed to depart.
Haha! There she goes with the funny again. Fact checking! That's a good one.
(Comments pointing out that I could have eloped are strongly discouraged).
Why elope when you can start your married life in debt? And how can a nice lapsed-Catholic girl be married by a priest when she elopes?
So I'm off today, and as soon as the Pastor--
A Protestant? She's getting married by a Protestant? How will God know she's married if a priest doesn't marry her? But perhaps she is merely being Ruth to his Naomi--his God will be her God, his tea-bagging people will be her tea-bagging people. No doubt when P. Suderman tells her to uncover
---makes us all legal and everything, we are going on our first real vacation together.
Thank God P. Suderman is finally going to make an honest woman of her. Now she'll be able to criticize Ta-Nehisi Coates for living in sin without being a hypocrite. Not that that bothered her before.
We'll be in Hawaii for ten days, which will just about round out to two weeks off with the flight time.
Take your time! Take three weeks, or even longer.
Luckily for you, I've assembled a crack team of guest bloggers so good--so smart, so elegant in their prose styling, so gosh-darn bloggy--that by week's end I'm sure you'll be writing me in Hawaii to beg me not to come back and interrupt all the awesome blogging.
The last time McArdle had guest bloggers she ended up marrying one of them. They might want to keep that in mind.
McArdle interviews guest bloggers.
It is for this reason that I have made a firm resolution not to check email after Sunday.
We can think of better reasons not to go on the internet during our honeymoon, namely drinking and screwing, but that's just us.
Please be nice to them while I'm away, and hopefully I'll come back fortified by blissful romance + long hours spent lying on the beach.
Bon Voyage, Mr. and Mrs. McArdle, and may you reap all the happiness you deserve. For what greater happiness could there be than the unity of two such similar souls, both determined to do as little as possible for others while telling each other that they are the best of people in the best of all possible worlds.