Atlas Shrugged: The Mocking

Thursday, June 19, 2008

K-Lo is stupid

Kathryn Jean Lopez believes demons roam the earth, looking for people to possess. (The article is about Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal's participation in an exorcism when in college.) They take over the person and make them do evil things. I understand the Catholic Church is on a first-name basis with demons. The Vatican even teaches a class on demon fighting, something that I would love to take, as a huge Buffy the Vampire Slayer fan. But I'm very curious, which demon possessed "Susan"? As a fellow Susan (more or less), I want to know what is circling the globe, looking for people to seduce.

[...T]he Catholic Church unequivocally teaches that angels and demons are real personal beings, not just symbolic devices of literature and myth (see Fr. John Corapi's article). The Catholic Church has a cadre of exorcists, who teach that demons attack humans and that Christ came to deliver us from Satan's evil rule by power in this fashion. According to the Catholic Church, demonically afflicted persons can be effectively healed and protected either by the formal rite of exorcism, authorized to be performed only by bishops and those they designate, or by prayers of deliverance which any Christian can offer for themselves or others.

Was it Agares, who teaches people to cuss? Vapula, a female demon who teaches philosophy? Yeter'el, who is half human? Furfur, who can be forced to tell the truth if in a magic triangle? Since we're on a first name basis with so many demons, it would be nice to know his or her name. Maybe Jindal can order the public schools to start teaching demonology along with intelligent design.

Although Lopez thinks Jindal needs more seasoning and time to clean up Louisiana from its demon onslaught, she does favor him for a high political office some day. I look forward to the establishment of a Cabinet post in Demon Fighting and Exorcism. If we have an enemy we won't have to go to war, we can just exorcise his demons instead, and he'll be Godly once again, even if he doesn't believe in God. Problems with La Nina? Pray to God and the angels for salvation. Crime? Nation-wide exorcism! In fact, there is no problem that can't be solved without God's help and prayer. Which is why the Christian nations have no problems--or they wouldn't, if it weren't for those meddling demons.

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