Atlas Shrugged: The Mocking

Friday, March 2, 2012

While I Was Sleeping

While I was sleeping off a headache, Andrew Breitbart slept the Big Sleep. Mr. Breitbart's biggest successes entailed finding easy targets to humiliate with doctored videos so he could smear their employers. He will be greatly missed by those who enjoy seeing minority women humiliated.

Mr. Breitbart, a loving family man, died shortly after going "on a walk" around 9 pm. During his walk he just happened to stop by a neighborhood bar, where he spent a couple of hours drinking and having animated conversations about politics with complete strangers. Less than an hour after he returned home, he was dead.

The conservative world will greatly miss this "happy warrior," who was never happier than when he was engaging his many enemies in a face-to-face shouting match. Early speculation says that he died from a bad heart.


Anonymous said...

Goodbye to a nasty man, a liar, a bully, and a poison in the public discourse. Not a single decent human being will miss this man.

Susan of Texas said...

You also have to wonder how much his rageaholism spilled over on his kids. Anyone that eager to scream will scream at his kids as well.

fish said...

Early speculation says that he died from a bad heart.

Not just bad, rotten.

Kathy said...

Yessss... people say "be nice about Blightfart, his kids & wife are grieving.

Well, maybe they are- people can love abusive parents/spouses. But, just watching his raging, his sneering, his constant lying... I bet his home life was unpleasant. My family is full of "rageoholic conservative men" and they're awful people to be around, even though I love (and pity their constant fury) them.

Susan of Texas said...

They aren't content to live the way they want; they demand, at the top of their voices, that everyone else tell them that they are right.

Anonymous said...

Susan, I didn't realize we know each other.

We must, right, since you obviously know my brother-in-law. This description fits him to a T.


Anonymous said...

Honestly, I don't have sympathy for his family either. They're living a nice life in Westwood - far nicer than anything I will likely ever see - that was paid for by Breitbart's willingness to destroy innocent people and ruin their lives.

Certainly his wife had to know what kind of man her husband was, and how he provided for her. Reminds me of Carmela Soprano, and is just as deserving of sympathy.

- spencer

Anonymous said...

predictably, Andrew Sullivan has some nice words to say about him. Breitbart was a complex man. They one exchanged music recommendations on a flight.

The only way to become human in AS's eyes is to share a personal moment of humanity with him. (See Pat Buchanan)

"Early speculation says that he died from a bad heart"

Beautifully done!

Anonymous said...

"Early speculation says that he died from a bad heart."

Can't die from that which you never had.

Smartpatrol said...

Said my piece here

Anonymous said...

Bad heart, eh? Yes, the heart was bad even if it was physically "perfectly healthy"--and so was the mind.

fish said...

I admit to taking some guilty pleasure seeing Breibart's howler monkeys descend on Matt Yglasias' book on Amazon because MattY said something mean about Breibart on Twitter.