Atlas Shrugged: The Mocking

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Christmas Shopping List!

Because I love my readers, I am blessing you with a shopping guide made with my very own hands. The last time I moved I made an inventory, so it will be easy to tell your what to buy; everything I own is the very best, for the very best.

Pony Tail Holders--Regrettably I seldom wear make-up, but I do put my hair up in a cute little ponytail using colored bands from the dollar store. Make sure you get the right kind of bands; some are too thick and tight for my skinny (but soft!) hair.

Skagen watch with broken crystal--This is a very nice, if socialist, watch that looks good on my left wrist. If you want to be just like me you have to accidentally break the crystal, however, or you will look like someone who just ran out and bought a not-very-expensive but good quality watch.

Merlotte's tee shirt--You can get this at the HBO gift store. It is in the modern style, slender and very long and made of a thin white cotton. It has "Merlotte's" silk-screened on a green oval on the left shoulder. I realize that not everyone wants tv show souvenirs, but you need to learn to like them if you want to be like me. I wear it when I do housework; it's very comfortable, although you do have to wear a good white bra under it. (Bras are optional for men.)

Baby Blues Page-a-Day Calendar--First, you need to give birth to several children who enjoy comics. Then you need to wait for them to grow up enough to give you this for Christmas. Then you need to yell at your kids for constantly taking your daily calendar to read the comics. It's time consuming but worth it.

Acer computer monitor--It always works when I turn it on. "Nuff said.

Scripto Gold Marker--I haven't used it yet but it looks pretty.

Merry Christmas, you lucky shoppers!


Anonymous said...

Cracking list, Susan. Do you have any good advice on hair brushes and how they work? I constantly have a hard time with them.

(PS - she can't even get make-up and vanity advice right. I can't think of the number of times I shook my head "no. That's wrong" while reading her post)

vmh said...

We are lucky!!

Tru fax on the pony tail holders!

Vicky loling!

Susan of Texas said...


Anonymous said...

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