Atlas Shrugged: The Mocking

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Oh Frabjous Day!

The Snark wishes to extend its heartiest congratulations to those crazy kids Megan McArdle and P. Suderman as they unite in the Holy State of Matrimony. McArdle is nearly giddy as she announces the arrival of the Happy Event.
Going To the Chapel and We're . . . GONNA Get Ma-a-aaried

So as some of you may have heard, I'm marrying Peter Suderman. Specifically, I'm marrying him on Saturday.

Here is the happy couple preserved for eternity at the time of their engagement:

Young love is so adorable. (No doubt McArdle realizes that she has not, in fact, been granted the title of Honorary Princess For A Day, and merely wore a tiara for entertainment purposes only.)

McArdle says:

We are finally on the brink of that happy moment that every girl dreams of: a qualified change in family status under section 125 of the tax code.

Heh. That's actually pretty funny. McArdle usually reserves her humor for laughing at her friends and enemies equally instead of laughing at herself but weddings make everyone a little excited.

It turns out weddings are complicated, and require a great deal of last-minute detail management.

"Last minute" seems to have been a theme....

Especially when you have to push your column through fact check before you are allowed to depart.

Haha! There she goes with the funny again. Fact checking! That's a good one.

(Comments pointing out that I could have eloped are strongly discouraged).

Why elope when you can start your married life in debt? And how can a nice lapsed-Catholic girl be married by a priest when she elopes?

So I'm off today, and as soon as the Pastor--

A Protestant? She's getting married by a Protestant? How will God know she's married if a priest doesn't marry her? But perhaps she is merely being Ruth to his Naomi--his God will be her God, his tea-bagging people will be her tea-bagging people. No doubt when P. Suderman tells her to uncover Boaz's David Koch's "feet," she will acquiesce as well.

---makes us all legal and everything, we are going on our first real vacation together.

Thank God P. Suderman is finally going to make an honest woman of her. Now she'll be able to criticize Ta-Nehisi Coates for living in sin without being a hypocrite. Not that that bothered her before.
We'll be in Hawaii for ten days, which will just about round out to two weeks off with the flight time.

Take your time! Take three weeks, or even longer.
Luckily for you, I've assembled a crack team of guest bloggers so good--so smart, so elegant in their prose styling, so gosh-darn bloggy--that by week's end I'm sure you'll be writing me in Hawaii to beg me not to come back and interrupt all the awesome blogging.

The last time McArdle had guest bloggers she ended up marrying one of them. They might want to keep that in mind.

McArdle interviews guest bloggers.

It is for this reason that I have made a firm resolution not to check email after Sunday.

We can think of better reasons not to go on the internet during our honeymoon, namely drinking and screwing, but that's just us.

Please be nice to them while I'm away, and hopefully I'll come back fortified by blissful romance + long hours spent lying on the beach.

Bon Voyage, Mr. and Mrs. McArdle, and may you reap all the happiness you deserve. For what greater happiness could there be than the unity of two such similar souls, both determined to do as little as possible for others while telling each other that they are the best of people in the best of all possible worlds.


Clever Pseudonym said...

"Luckily for you, I've assembled a crack team of guest bloggers..."

Right, because we all know that if, heaven forbid, Megan's site is left dormant for the two weeks she's on her honeymoon, nobody would find anything else on the internet to read in her absence.

Kathy said...

"crack team" sounds implausible, unless she means ON crack. Because anyone half way good would be given Meg's job after 2 days.

Ken Houghton said...

"She's getting married by a Protestant? How will God know she's married if a priest doesn't marry her? But perhaps she is merely being Ruth to his Naomi--his God will be her God..."

Let's see: short guy (note how the Tall Ms. McArdle tilts herself into trying to make him look bigger in the picture) with a receding hairline and the last name "Suderman."

Not really betting he's Protestant, even if they are marrying on the Sabbath.

Unknown said...

Since the celestial virgin has been planning this day for so long, she expects a treasure trove of gifts that once stored prior to their honeymoon will provide them with years of enjoyment when they dig them out. Kind of hard to imagine a 37 year old not acquiring anything of value toward eventually getting married, but maybe a kindly 'uncle' will buy them a house to house it all in when they get back.

Susan of Texas said...

I'm hoping her friends chipped in and bought her a sous vide, so we don't have to hear about how much she wants a sous vide.

freq flag said...

Oh, for fvck's sake...please tell me that's not a tiara perched atop her noggin.

I guess there really is nothing so lacking in self-awareness they won't try as long as they've convinced themselves that it "annoys liberals."

Jane Galt, do everyone a favor and spend the rest of your wretched existence admiring yourself in your bedroom mirror while reciting your namesake's speech from Atlas Shrugged.

Anonymous said...

Pick the First Divorce

A. Rush's Fourth?

B. Megan's First?

The betting window is now open.