Atlas Shrugged: The Mocking

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Words To Live By

Someone on the internet is wise:

If you don't eat meat, go buy some. This way you'll never be tempted to unnecessarily mention[....]
If you don't eat meat and are able to refrain from relating this fact, then, uh, carry on.

TO CLARIFY: You don't have to eat it, of course. That's your call. But by eating meat, most attempts to proudly explain your aversion to the food will become so bogged down in qualifiers that they'll never escape your lips. This will be well worth the $19 investment.

Remember, these days, when you say "I don't eat meat", you're not just misleading people into believing that you spend all of your spare time growing organic vegetables; you're also signalling that you don't have a barbeque grill. This is a major social liability, especailly in Texas.


Anonymous said...

I dig the way Megan thinks that it's wrong to be snooty about not owning a TV, but it's okay to be snooty about not owning a Wii.

Susan of Texas said...

I think she's saying a Wii is necessary--I remember she said she bought a Wii Fit.

Even the comenters pointed out that this is an odd thing to say, coming from someone who keeps bringing up her diet.

Anonymous said...

She actually called not owning one a "social liability." That was either a poor attempt at a joke or her just being stupid. Again. Sure, all my friends stopped calling the moment I didn't rush out and buy a Wii.

How obtuse and cluelessly unaware can one person be? I-don't-own-a-TV guy is no different than "hey everybody, did I mention I'm a vegan today?" every chance you get. That's why I love that comment you highlighted so much.